How to Improve In-Law Relations, c. 1470

illumination of hunter grooming hunting dog with comb while other dogs loiter J. Paul Getty Museum MS 27, f. 46v (c. 1430)

If a woman very much wants her husband to love her relatives and friends whom he has never liked, when they come to visit her with their dog, she must collect urine from the dog and give some to her husband to drink, in barley beer or in a soup, without his knowledge. And after he has given a warm welcome to the dog, he will be friendly with the people the dog loves.

The Distaff Gospels (trans. Madeleine Jeay & Kathleen Garay)

Your husband will be humping the whole family’s legs in no time.