How to Invite a Man Home, 1642

painting of woman unimpressed by man gesturing at celestial scene with cupids, flowers Nikolaus Knüpfer, Portrait d’un Couple

According to Cupids Schoole: Wherein Yong Men and Mayds May Learne Diverse Sorts of New, Witty, Amorous Complements (1642), here’s what to say if you want to invite a gentleman home with you:

To invite one home. Sir, I have often desired your company at home, but yet could never be so happy to obtaine it. But now you shall not deny to grace my poor house with your presence, since we are hard by it, and to honour me so much as to let the star of your vertue shine within the sphear of my house: for I dare promise though entertainement be not worthy your invitation, yet you shall be as welcome as a friend can be to a friend.

This is a great line – provided that your special man is well versed in seventeenth-century euphemism.