How to Groom Yourself, c. 1200

Walters Art Museum, W.105

Let your hair be combed, and your haircut be equally neat. If you are shaggy, have your hairy beard trimmed back. If your eyes are watery, consult a doctor. Let your hands be clean, your sleeves laced up. Don’t have deformed fingernails, or disgusting teeth. Don’t let long hairs sprout from your nostrils. Your feet should not be marred with ugly skin; you should walk elegantly with your head high.

Daniel of Beccles, Urbanus magnus

Don’t take this the wrong way, but the Middle Ages would like to gently suggest that you walk those gnarly feet to the pedicurist.