How to Play with a Cat, 1658

Mildly Grumpy Cat
Edward Topsell, The History of Four-Footed Beasts (1607)

How to make dainty sport with a Cat.

If you will have some sport with a Cat, then get a little Bel, such as the tame Hawkes have at their legs, and tye the Bell something hard at the end of the Cats tayle, and let her go, she feeling of her tayle smart, and hearing of the Bel gingle, she will run up and down as if she were mad, flying against the walls and windowes: then if she can, she will get into some hole to hide her selfe, but when she wags her tayle never so little, then out she comes, and is as mad as before, and never will rest quiet till it be taken off, or she can get it off her selfe.

Some have shod a Cat round, with putting melted Pitch into foure Walnut-shels, and placing her feet therein, and she will make pretty sport.

I was told of a merry Fellow that came into an Ale-house in cold weather, and finding but a reasonable Fire, said, Hee would make the Cat pisse it out, and watching his opportunity, he getteth his Hostesses Cat, putting her head betwixt his thighs, and holding her foure feet fast in one hand, and with the other hand held up her tayle neer the fire, and did pisse such abundance that she quite quenched the same.

John White, A Rich Cabinet with Variety of Inventions

Some dainty cat capers from the pre-YouTube era! I imagine the cat would respond by making dainty sport of removing your face from your head.