How to Slim Down in Fourteen Days, 1595

Charles Mellin, Portrait of a Gentleman (c. 1645)

An excellent and approved thing to make them slender, that are grosse. Let them eate three or foure cloves of Garlick, with as much of Bread and butter every morning and evening, first and last, neither eating nor drinking of three or foure howres after their taking of it in the morning for the space of fourteene days at the least: and drinke every day three draughts of the decoction of Fennell: that is, of the water wherein Fennell is sod, and well strained, fourteene dayes after the least, at morning, noone and night. I knewe a man that was marveilous grosse, & could not go a quarter of a mile, but was enforst to rest him a dosen times at the least: that with this medicine tooke away his grossenesse, and after could iourney verye well on foote.

Thomas Lupton, A Thousand Notable Things

The Garlic Bread Cleanse, fad diet of the late sixteenth century, is pure genius. After fourteen days of this regimen you’ll be rid of that pesky grossenesse and ready to hit the beach. On foote.