How to Cure Laryngitis, 1579
Laye a thynne peece of rawe Beefe, to the forehead of them that have lost theyr voyce, and let it lye thereto all nyght unremoved: and it wyll helpe them presently, or at the least within three or fowre severall applications.
Thomas Lupton, A Thousand Notable Things
After three or four applications the patient will not only be speaking, but also screaming at you to stop plastering him with raw beef.
Also, I can't sleep. Because the cat keeps licking my neck.
Doesn't laryngitis tend to go away in three or fowre nyghts all by itself anyway? This seems like a manufacture of the beef industry.